Performance Score

late at night
alone in a really hot and humid room, preferably with almost no air flow.


1. Take out all the projects you’re working on. All of them. stack them in neat piles.

2. Try to decide what is the best project to start first.

3. Make a list of all your projects. try to prioritize them. remember some random email you forgot to write and add that to the list (but maybe in a different column)

4. decide to start many new columns. grocery list, tomorrow’s to do list, what you should eat for breakfast, what you’re going to wear tomorrow. another email you forgot from last week. someone you really should have contacted two weeks ago and it’s almost not worth it at this point. that other errand you should have done. add it to the list.

5. start getting really overwhelmed. and worried. maybe none of these projects are worth anything. they’re all probably pretty stupid. who cares. why are you doing this?

6. start going through list again and evaluating each project based on its stupidity and lack of meaning or impact on the world in any way.

7. contemplate sending emo tweets.

8. decide to just start something, who cares.

9. take out all your supplies – ribbons, glues, glitters, papers, threads, scissors. Oh that other thing you saved, find that too.

10. get overwhelmed by the mess you’ve just made in such a hot little room.

11. sit down and wonder if this is really what you should be doing with your time anyways. it’s still all a bunch of stupid projects.

12. scan the internet for other more accomplished peers and get worried and anxious about your own work in comparison. look at their CVs just to make it sting more.

end performance.

stop thinking. go to sleep.

it doesn’t mean anything.

it’s all made up anyway.


Filed under thoughts

2 responses to “Performance Score

  1. Thank you! Good to read the chronicle of a score I frequently perform.

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